I’m back with another chapter. I’m sorry this one took so long to post – inspiration came to me while I wasn’t anywhere near a recorder or my laptop. Of course, right?
It’s not my best work, I’m sorry. I was able to feel a little something that I felt when I started writing this, but if you don’t feel it, let me know and I’ll see how I can get back on track.
Today’s picture is called Gakko Gurashi Manga. I found it in the Mid-Season Review: School Live! section of http://operationrainfall.com/2015/08/17/mid-season-review-school-live/. Once you read this section you might get it.
“What’s this?” I’m only half looking at what it is – a box that he’s handing over to me. I have one hand on my shopping cart and the other slowly taking this thing he’s handing over.
“It’s a game.” His response as he lets it go then starts paying attention to the baby carrier sitting in the shopping cart.
“Yeah, well, I don’t play games. Unlike you, I’m a bit too busy.” I try to hand it back.
He shrugs and keeps messing with the baby carrier, but isn’t taking it back. “I make time.”
“Yeah but you don’t have a kid or a job or bills or things like that.”
“I have a job!” He looks back at me but still doesn’t take the box.
“Right. What? Playing video games? Please! Here, I don’t want it! I have to finish shopping and get … back to the sitter …”
The memory fades. I remember it but I don’t. He never took the box back.
“Then what happened?”
I blink but I don’t see anything or anyone. Not sure who asked that but I feel obligated to answer.
“Hey, my kid’s crying, I have to go feed her.” I try to put down the controller while I’m looking at the screen, watching the others going after whatever it was we were trying to kill.
“Now? You picked a fine time to quit!”
Not sure who that was. “I’m not quitting I have to go feed my baby.”
“You leave now and we’re booting you! We had it all planned out.” Same person
“Yeah! Why didn’t you say before that you had stuff to do?” Well, that’s just great. And here I thought he was my friend.
“She just woke up, I have to go feed her!” I’m still sitting on my couch, still holding the controller. Why haven’t I gotten up yet?
“Damn it! Now we’re gonna have to wait?” I’m thinking he’s not much of a friend now.
“Go fucking find someone else! Boot her ass!”
“No, no! Wait! I’ll stay but we have to do this fast ok?”
I’m thinking that’s what started it all.
“Did you wind up finishing fast?”
“Yeah, I think that time we did. She was still crying, loud. She was so mad, didn’t even stop crying until she fell asleep eating.”
“But that wasn’t the last time something like that happened, was it?”
“I don’t think so.”
“How long have you been playing it?”
“I don’t remember. We pulled an all-nighter. We had this major boss we had to take down and needed everyone sharp.”
“So you didn’t hear her crying?”
“Yeah I did, but they needed me.”
“So you let her cry? She needed to be fed, to be changed.”
“I can change her after we beat the boss. And she cried herself to sleep before. I just wake her up and feed her.”
“How many days have you done this?
“I don’t remember.”
“Yes, you do. How many days?”
I’m trying to think, but it’s hard and I’m tired. Things are hazy. I remember her crying. I remember calling out to tell her I’d be right there. I remember …
“Do you remember your brother coming in and seeing …”
“He had no right to be there! I’m capable of taking care of everything!”
“Val, your baby died. You hadn’t fed her in two days. Even though your brother…”
“No! I had it all under control! They’ll tell you. We were kicking ass!” I think I’m crying now. I can see a face before me, screaming at me. Ryan’s screaming at me. And Jackie’s taking …
“They’re taking her! Where are they taking her! They have her! Give her back!”
“You God-damned, mother fucking, son of a bitch! You took her away from me! You took her! Where is she?” He’s holding me back while Jackie leaves; but it’s not them that’s holding me now. The Bitch is watching me, she’s watching this. “You think this is fucking funny? Sitting there like a bitch!”
All she does is write down everything. Glances at me and writes stuff down then types it on that computer of hers.
“I think we’re getting somewhere now.”
I’m so pissed I can’t even think straight, I can’t speak. I tried to stand up but that’s not good either. I do the only thing I can do: I cry.
“Yes, Sean, you can take her back to her room now. If she needs it, give her something to relax her. We’ll see how she is in the morning, whether she can be returned to her regular breakfast schedule or if she needs more time.”
I don’t want to go anywhere. I just want to get away, I want to go somewhere that doesn’t have Bitches, or memories. I want my life back. I want my daughter back – I know she’s not dead. They just won’t let me have her.