Yes, dear readers, I’m posting early, but I have a feeling it might be worth it. I revamped this entry a number of times, I hope it goes over well.
There’s a bit of a shock or a twist to it.
Surprisingly I was able to find a good picture for it, thanks to https://www.wattpad.com/20191929-hidden-prologue. There’s some good writing there you might want to check out too.
Please let me know what you think of this next section. Thanks!
“I’m not crazy! I know I’m not!”
Jan stops short and looks at me, rolls her eyes and then takes my hand in hers. “No Baby, you’re not crazy. But you are upset and I can’t have you this way.”
I’m shaking because I can’t believe what I just saw. Well no, that’s not entirely true. I can believe it, I just can’t believe that it happened in front of Jan and that she saw it and she’s as calm as if it never happened or it was something that just happens every day.
Only this type of shit doesn’t happen every day!
And it doesn’t happen to me! Does it? I don’t remember.
She puts her arm around my shoulders and squeezes; then she kisses my cheek and looks at me. I can’t tell if that’s concern or … I don’t know.
“Baby you’re gonna have to calm down.”
“Deep breath. Let it in. Let it out.”
I breathe in when she says and exhale when she says, but I’m still shaking.
“I know what will help. Let’s go back to ….”
“No! I … I don’t want to go back to your room.”
“Why not?” She starts massaging my shoulders and my neck and normally that would feel good. Then I feel her breathing by my ear. I’m just staring out into space, I still can’t believe it.
“Then let’s go back to your room.” She whispers to me right before she starts nibbling my ear; right before she takes my hand and pushes it against her hot center. I’m just staring, I’m still trembling, I’m still not believing my eyes.
“They won’t let me.” I breathe, yeah she’s starting to affect me. “Hell, if they knew I was in your room …”
“They won’t know unless you tell them, so c’mon!”
That time with Jan was eight weeks ago, when she came to me during lunch, took me to her room and told me her secret. Wait, no, I’m not so sure about the time. I guess it doesn’t matter.
I’m not crazy. I know what I saw. But now it doesn’t matter. Last time I saw Jan she still told me I’m not crazy. And she wouldn’t lie to me. I know she wouldn’t. She has no reason to. Well, not anymore. I think.
I’m not exactly sure how long Jan’s been here, but it’s been longer than anyone else has. I also don’t know why she’s here – but I never bothered to ask her and she never told me.
I haven’t seen Jan at all today though, but I’m not really worried Aside from me, she spends a lot of time isolated – so she won’t harm anyone else.
They tell me they put me in isolation so I won’t harm myself.
That sounds funny.
Wait … what is today? When was the last time I saw Jan?
Today I’m actually in the common room, standing by the window, staring at the glass. It looks like I’m looking outside but I’m not. I gave that up a long time ago, when they told me I probably wasn’t going to be leaving here.
I’ve been here for a long time. Not as long as Jan, but longer than anyone else.
Where is Jan?
I wonder if she’s still mad.
They don’t know why I stand here, but I don’t care. Personally, between me and you, I stand here because Krystal comes after she’s done doing what she does. She walks up behind me, puts her arms around me and lays her head on my back, then she listens to me breathe.
She loves me, I know she does, even if she never actually said it. I mean, she said she can’t live without me, so that’s the same thing, right?
I can’t understand why everyone else tells me that I’m not living right, when she tells me I am.
Someone walks past, I don’t know who it is, but it’s not Krystal so I guess I don’t really care.
The room is cold and no one else cares. Not like Jan does. Not like Krystal does. Why can’t everyone be like them?
Jan must be above them because she can come and see me whenever she wants to. Except when Krystal comes over, then Jan leaves me alone. Funny how she knows when that is.
Jan says she loves me, not like before, like a daughter and that she’ll talk to her family and her attorney, but she can’t get me out of here.
Most times I don’t want to leave, because I’m not sure Krystal will know where I’ve gone to if I leave, and I need Krystal in my life. She’s what keeps me going.
What did I do that they would lock me up in here? I don’t remember.
If it wasn’t for Jan I’d go insane! Then I’d really be crazy.
If it wasn’t for Krystal I’d kill myself. I don’t care if she never loves me, just her being with me is enough. Thank God she comes for me.
I can’t wait to be with her tonight.