It’s been a pretty fun journey, but it’s almost at an end. I hope you’ve enjoyed this and I hope I don’t flub up how I’m picturing this.
Today’s picture is from http://www.creativeuncut.com/gallery-13/ds-horseman-death.htm and is called Horseman – Death. It’s amazing how many awesome pictures there are when you Google ‘Angel of Death’, but this one I thought was accurate enough – again I really thought of something else but yeah still haven’t perfected my drawing ability or lack thereof.
Konnor didn’t flinch or move when he felt the firm hand on his shoulder. His eyes were still closed as he held her body to him. She was neither warm nor cold, but he took comfort in feeling her – more so than The Beloved’s attempt at consoling.
“She’s gone.” The voice said emotionlessly. “He’ll be here for her soon.”
He chuckled for a second, then opened and turned red-rimmed eyes to The Beloved. Metatron released his hold on Konnor’s shoulder and watched the being put sunglasses back over his eyes, while still holding on to what was once a member of The Forgotten. He continued watching and feeling all that surrounded them.
“Am I? Samael will be here shortly for her.”
“You dare call him by that name?”
“I have no fear of that Horseman. Not as you and the others do.”
“I have … some fear, because of what I am. But he’s not the only one.”
Metatron nodded. “I realize it’s also Michael’s calling, but she is here, and her … death is not the Archangel’s claim.” He kept looking around. “Be comforted in the fact that … at least you know what I have always wanted to feel.”
“Always wanted to feel? What are you talking about?”
The Beloved quickly turned his gaze back at Konnor who was gently laying Karen on the ground. “You were privy to our conversation; you were here.”
Konnor remained half-sitting, half-kneeling next to her, his eyes possibly still staring at her body though that was hard to confirm through the sunglasses. “I heard what you told her. I just don’t think you heard it.”
“How could I not have heard? I said it.”
Konnor chuckled again although this time it was half-hearted. “You know, she once told me that … what were her words … some people don’t hear themselves talk. I’m sure she got that from Terrans.” He added before Metatron could question.
“Terrans. They know love.”
“No, they don’t. Not really, not the way it’s meant to be known.”
“Don’t they? What do you call what you did and are doing?”
“It’s called grieving. Terrans do it when someone they care about dies. Angels don’t know how to grieve because there is no real death for them, but they understand sadness. If there’s one thing that God made sure of is that all her creations have emotions.”
Metatron gave an exasperated grunt, turned and started walking away from Konnor.
“Wait!” Konnor implored.
“You too? Wait for what?”
“Don’t go. You who are desperate for … love. You don’t have to go.”
Metatron turned towards the once Lowly. “Why not?” Konnor bowed his head when The Beloved gazed upon him, not able to meet his eyes. “You don’t even know what love is.”
“You think I don’t? What about what Karen …”
“You aren’t Karen. You may be her twin, but you are not her. She knew love, even after you brought her to Lucifer.”
Konnor closed his eyes for a moment, ashamed. “I know I betrayed her, but in it she showed me. I know how Gabriel loved her, and how he loves me. I know why we all show love the way we do and why we can’t show it the way Terrans do. And she did show me her love; she sacrificed herself for me, for Zhovaer, for Gabriel. She did it for you.”
The Beloved laughed angrily. “For me.” For a moment it looked like he was struggling with thoughts or ideas that he couldn’t quite grasp. When he spoke again it sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “Why? Why can’t I have that kind of love? Why must I be denied something that the mortal Terrans fail to realize is so dear, so precious? You had it, and you destroyed it.”
“For immortals it is different, it would destroy an immortal to love that way because it’s conditional. What they have isn’t pure because they aren’t. What we have been given, it’s only a fraction of what you have and will always have. You cannot and should not fathom what it feels to have restrictions on such an emotion.”
“Maybe restriction isn’t the right word, but they have standards and levels on love. It’s why Terrans wage war and experience hate. It’s what makes it easy for Lucifer to lure them here.”
“They do forsake each other.”
“And God. This isn’t the type of love you want. These aren’t the feelings you … these are what God tries to keep from you. Do you know what it’s like to lose your child, to lose your creation?”
“Oh I know. Or had you forgotten The Son?”
“You know he is different. The only one of us who is half yet whole. And you did not lose him; must I recite the tale of the resurrection.” That hit a bit home, for the better, and Konnor knew it.
“And still you think I need to go through that again.”
“You’ve never been through it! The Son is still here with you and God. God never left you. God is still there, and God still loves you.”
“But not in love.”
“You know that’s not important.”
“Enough! Leave! Samael approaches.”
“No!” Konnor moved as though to shield the faded body of his twin. “He will not have her.”
“You have no say in this; you are no longer a Guardian and Lowly cannot …”
“They may not be able to, but …”
The highest of the angels turned to face Michael and Raphael as behind him Samael rode into view.